Monday, 30 June 2014

... Meanwhile, in another story... 3

Previous Books: ... Meanwhile, in another story...... Meanwhile, in another story... 2

I just couldn't believe it. Mrs Storey is an infamous criminal. She walked into class and shot everybody. I died.

THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story...

So I yelled at Mrs Crogers and she gets agro at me and strangles me. I died.

THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story...

... And Balton Bilsiger jumped on me! My guts flew out everywhere. I died.

THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story...

"AHHHHHHH!" I screamed. 
I died.

THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story... 

"Oliver will perish!" I said to my self.
I let out an evil laugh. He wasn't going to get away this time. 
I turned invisible with my low-tech technology. I sunk up to Oliver. I knew what room he was in. I walked through the door. The room was a bathroom. And Oliver was in the shower. I fainted. I died. Or did I? 
Oliver got out of the shower, still not noticing me as I was still invisible. But I found it a little strange that he managed to throw a perfect punch to my nose. 
At this, my low-tech technology faded off and the next thing I knew it, we were fighting. He called for his weird dragon thing.
"YOHDELEIHO!" Oliver shouted.
A weird dragon thing breathed fire into my face. I died.

THE END


Saturday, 28 June 2014

Danger

THIS IS THE REAL VERSION

Prologue 
The night sky sparkled with wonder, a thousand stars in the sky, like pieces of glitter on a sheet of black paper. The wind tickled the young trees swaying in the moonlight. The silence only broken by the occasional animals movement. It was the type of night that you expected to be peaceful, but there was danger all around, maybe it was the unearthly silence or the dim shadows playing in the darkness of the night. Danger that was how Sam wilkens woke up.

chapter 1 strangers 
Sam wilkens was the kind of boy who was ordinary, a face that was easy to overlook in a crowd, skinny, black eyes and black hair. He was, well ordinary  so it was highly unlikely that he was going to be the hero of this story...
"uh" Sam wilkens woke up to the smell of burning leather.
"Youch" He screamed "I'm on fire!" Quickly he barrel-rolled across the burning landscape. He landed with a neat little thud putting out the fire. As Sam stared into the everlasting black sky he could see shadowy black figures making their way up the mountainside. Hurridly he fastened his sword fighting belt around his waist and pulled out a sword. Waiting for the figures next movement...

chapter 2 beginning 
Now you're probably wondered how did our hero get there? It's always fustrating when you get hurled into a storey without any explantion. What are our heroes doing half way up a mountain? Its a barmy idea surely. Heres what happened....
It was a sunny and joyful afternoon. All the strong barbarians were gathered in a small hut by the seaside, greeting one another with a strong slap on the back that usually made the weaker one fall over. Laughing with the wind for that it seemed that nothing could stop the joyous spirits of these old friends. The barbarian army were travelling to their annual camp on the mountainside that ended with sledding competion which took place on April 1st. In the huge crowd there stood a small kid not yet 17 who stood out in the crowd. He wore thin leather pants which I could swear had holes made deliberately to hold swords, He had a leather T-shirt and a belt fastened on tight. He also had a helmet with carved dragon head on it it was his most valuable possesion. He was also the hero of our story.   There were 3 ways to reach the camp. There was the impossible way, a climb that would take 3 days and 3 nights to climb (no one has done for the past 10 years). Then there was the heros way that everyone under 18 would be doing, a looooooong hike up the mountain that would take 2 days one night and then there was the wreakers way because when you're done with it was guaranteed to wreak your clothes. That was the way the 18+ would take (just for exercise).

chapter 3 surprise
so that explains how they got there. Back to the story...
"ploosh" that was the sound that the figures made. It wasn't a lot but it was enough.
"Whas happening" asked Sam's best friend Tom 
"What's going on"
By that all the other kids had woken up and a lot of them had seen the figures. Slowly they drew their swords and loaded their crossbows ready to charge. Then quickly the figures came. 

 chapter 4 attack 
At last they charged, so fast that if you blink you might miss it. The soilders ran forwards to meet their attack. The sound living up the bright night sky. Although smaller they were they rushed on forwards meeting the attack. Swords clashed, bows were shot...
Sam was just trying to figure on what was going on. What are they trying to get?
A enemy attemped to take his helmet off. Sam saw more of the enemy sprinting towards him with their eyes set on the target Sam's helmet...
Bang I've got it he thought excitedly They want my Helmet.
"Heres my helmet if you want it" Shouted Sam Throwing Tom's helmet down the hill. The enemies eyes snapped like clockwork to the helmet and they jumped down the hill to try to get it. In that time the young solders had climbed to the top and reached the camp. There they saw the adult warriors arriving lost for words
"well never in my life..." stammered the elders
"We need to take serious action"
"I say War!"
people were now chanting War, War... The elders had to silence the crowd.
"all in favour of war raise your hands"
Not a single one had their hands down.
"very well I demand of the bloodist type againts the Vikings!!!!

Epilogue 
So that was how the great war between Vikings and barbarians finally broke out.
Fortune favours the side who wins

 The End*










*READ THE NEXT BOOK IN THE ECLIPSE SERIES: SURVIVAL
  

  

Friday, 27 June 2014

pineapple attack

chapter 1

I gazed across the sparkling blue sea as a silver great white shark leapt out of the sea and bit Alex on the leg. "YOW YOW YOW YOW YOW YOW!" Alex screamed like a baby without its dummy I looked down at Alex's leg you could see the bone and I mean just the bone.

meanwhile at a secret base Maz and Oliver were discovering how to make a cow laugh. Cause it is physically impossible to make a cow laugh. After trying everything even tickling the cow with a fluffy feather there was nothing left so they needed professional help so Maz called me.

"YOW YOW YOW YOW YOW YOW YOW!" my iPhone beeped because that was my new ringtone. I picked it up and said "hello," in a English voice Maz replied "hey man we need your help to make a cow laugh cause were trying to discover it," I told Maz back "ok I be there in a flash." I told Alex that I was going to see Maz and Oliver but he refused cause the hospital was 564,756,925,662,356 kilometres away so he had nothing to worry about.  
  

 chapter 2

I raced up maz's driveway in my cherry red Ferrari and saw his grandmother baking cookies for Maz because it was maz's grandmothers house and he still lived there. I pressed the black button and my crisp apple car door opened and I walked towards the white front door and opened it. I walked down the soft stairs and went through the clear glass doors. I saw Maz and Oliver with a baby cow and Maz was tickling the baby cow. Oliver turned around and said "finally," to me I walked over to the baby cow and shoved funny mix down it's throat. The baby cow started giggling and I said to Oliver my work is done I left the room but as soon as I did Maz's grandmother said " Honey I made some fresh cookies" I left Maz's house and went back to my mansion.

chapter 3

10 years later 

I bounce out of my jelly soft bed and walk over to the television. I grab the remote and turned it on then I pushed a switch on my chair and it started massaging me. After I told me robot to get me a nice ice cold refreshment from the fridge. I was watching my favourite television show when suddenly a news break reports on the news, it said that pineapples was being released in the gigantic city. I ran to Maz's grandmothers house and knocked on the white door. Maz opened the door crying like little girl cause his grandmother is dead but in about ten seconds he was happy because he thought about heaven. I told Maz the news and he freaked out then we turned on the television to see if it was true and it was. The only thing that was weird about the release was that it was a cow who was leading the army of pineapples. I called Alex but he wasn't there so it was only Maz and I. We climbed to the top of the tallest building in the spacious city because we thought that it was going to be the place where they were releasing pineapples. When we were climbing up the interminable building a pineapple jumped on us and Maz flew out the window and down to the streets. sadly Maz was dead and now I would have to do this mission solo style. I got to the top room and I could hear noises so I jumped out of my hiding spot and started shooting some jelly everywhere cause pineapples hate jelly. When my jelly gun was out I realized that there were no pineapples and it was just a building with happy jazz dancers but when I sprayed jelly all over them they weren't happy anymore. I then thought were else could the pineapples be created then I thought the pineapple café.

When I realized it was the pineapple café I ran out and of the interminable building and sprinted down the streets to the café I saw Alex eating a pineapple in the window and waved at him then after a bunch of pineapples with a huge mouth started biting me then I pulled out my jelly gun and sprayed it all over the place then I got inside. I saw vines surrounding me and a circle made out of vines. A few seconds later there was a little blue oval that was in the vine circle. Kaboom I fell back and another bunch of pineapples were charging at me but I defeated them with my new karate skills or maybe they just stood in jelly but same thing.

chapter 4 

Finally it was the final battle against me and the cow leading the army I saw his face then I shoved funny mix down his throat a and cleared all that evil out of him and we were new best friends. I spent my whole life with my new best friend who was a cow but it doesn't matter. 
                                                The end       



The dinosaurs take over



"Stop being so annoying" I muttered under my breath. Mr Tickles had been standing next to me the whole party. He is somehow really really good at tickling. It was a really cool party. Popcorn the DJ was rocking it everyone was having a great time. Suddenly the doors burst open and in came Pancake the steamroller driver. He then shouted "DON'T STOP THE PARTY." Behind him was a humongous line with heaps of other strange people.

"Where are we" I groaned. I stood up and saw everyone lying on the floor, There was chips and drinks everywhere. I stood up and walked through all the chips and saw Popcorn the DJ with a massive cut through the side of his now inflated yellow body. I kept walking following the trail of blood. At the end of the red blood trail was Pancake the steamroller driver. He now looked like a stingray who's been in a war with a killer whale. ROAR ! Huge balls of spit came flying at me from behind. Slowly i turned around and there standing in front of me was a T - Rex. AAAAHHHHHHH I screamed as i fled. Thump ! Thump ! went the Gigantic dinosaur chased after me. ROAR !  I ran faster then leaped out through the hall doors. SLURP ! SLURP ! in the corridor was another dinosaur chewing on Mr Tickles. The dinosaur then stopped chewing on Mr Tickles and looked at me. Shivering I started to slowly back up then CHOMP ! I was swallowed whole by the sneaky T- REX who had sneaked up on me.

Down I went down the slippery, slimy roller coaster which was actually just the dinosaur throat. Splash ! I had landed in the stomach of this dinosaur. When I surfaced I noticed that I was not alone. "Good afternoon said the Professor. "Hello" Laughed Mr Happy. 
"Oh no" I mumbled to myself.

I woke surrounded by brown. I instantly realsied where I was I was in a POO. I punched a small whole through the disgusting Poo to field of long bright green grass. A gust of wind came out of nowhere and sent me rolling down a grass hill. I closed my eyes and crouched into a ball. Splash I landed in a small pond fall of brown and white ducks. A duck bent over and swallowed the brown poo with me inside up.  
Up the Duck flew and then coughed me out. I appeared pink with wings I was now a flying pig. 

Epic Mickey and Mr Potato

EPIC MICKEY & MR POTATO MAN



Epic Mickey and Mr Potato man were sitting at a restaurant. Just as Mr Potato man bit into a chip some candy minions came running in singing, “Sugar Sugar da da da oh, we are the best.” Epic Mickey and Mr Potato man worked for a secret agency the GIB. The candy minions ran around the restaurant eating the raisin’s food. All the people at the restaurant ran out the front doors screaming. There were four at the start but now there were millions of candy minions roaming the streets.  "To the potato ship!" Mr Potato shouted, as he ran through the doors with Epic Mickey. Switching to autopilot Mr Potato put his feet up onto the high tech dashboard. He then plugged in his iPod and turned his music up really loud.


Suddenly the candy minions oreo-jet flew in. Mr Potato Man and Epic Mickey kept running, using their mad ninja skills to dodge them. They started firing their broccoli guns at the oreo-jet’s cockpit. The cockpit started to break up and the oreo-jet exploded into a million pieces. The candy minions retreated to their secret hideout (which everyone knows is in the basement of the supermarket). Meanwhile, Epic Mickey helped all the raisins back to their home.


While Epic Mickey was helping the raisins, Mr Potato Man flew to the supermarket to try and find something about who this mastermind was and what he was planning to do to the world. As soon as Mr Potato Man landed he had company. Five candy minions attacked him. He got his carrot taser out and tazed them all in under ten seconds. There was a crate that he decided to climb on so he could try and find another entrance apart from the front door which was guarded with candy minions. He saw an air vent and thought that was the best option.


Epic Mickey was trying to gather all the raisin babies together but this crazy grandma raisin kept running around screaming “Hokey Pokey”. All the baby raisins then gathered into the Mickey bus including the crazy grandma. Epic Mickey sped away to his mansion where he would leave the raisins to be safe. Suddenly out of nowhere ten candy minions appeared in the bus and then started to eat all the baby raisins (except the crazy grandma raisin who started her panic again running around the bus knocking all the candy minions to the ground).   
Mr Potato Man crawled along the slim passage and listened for any voices. It felt like he was crawling forever when finally he heard someone say, “Mummy I need the bathroom.” He then realized he wasn’t anywhere near the basement and went down a slope slowly thinking there might be a giant fan at the bottom. At the bottom he saw a trap door that he could just fit through. He jumped down and saw a shelf that he decided to hide behind because he heard voices coming from the other room. Mr Potato Man knew that voice. It was Mr Paddle Pop the evil mastermind behind the candy scheme.

After Epic Mickey helped the raisins, he rushed to find Mr Potato Man to help him defeat Mr Paddlepop. Once he got to to the slim passage he quickly crawled to the end. When he got to the end he saw that Mr Potato Man was hiding behind a shelf  Epic Mickey threw a potato gun to Mr Potato Man and they both jumped out of hiding and shot Mr Paddle Pop in the heart. They had won.

MY BIRTHDAY ( LIVE FEED )

"LOL," my brother said. "You didn't get what you wanted for your birthday."
Then, I opened a present, and I got what I wanted.
"I stand corrected," my brother said.

Anyway, it's my birthday today, but I'm still nine years old. I actually turn 10 at exactly 12:58, midday.
You know what. I'll make a live feed about how long it is till I'm 10!
Let's see. It's 9:26 now, so there's exactly 3 hours and 32 minutes until I'm 10.
Oh, wait, now it's 9:27! 3 hours and 31 minutes!
Let's talk about something else now. For my birthday, I got a 'mood ~ 3 hours and 30 minutes ~ I got a 'mood ring.' A mood ring is a cool ring that you calibrate to the surrounding temperature. This becomes ~ 3 hours and 29 minutes ~ This becomes the 'zero.' Anyway, then you put it on and it finds ~ 3 hours and 28 minutes ~ It finds your body temperature, and depending on what that is, it can figure out your mood! ~ 3 hours and 27 minutes ~ It turns a particular colour (that I have learned to be able to read without the key) Here's the key: ~ 3 hours and 26 minutes ~

BLACK = Calm
~ 3 hours and 25 minutes ~
BRIGHT PURPLE ( YES, I KNOW THIS IS PINK ) = Excited
~3 hours and 24 minutes ~
CYAN = Happy
~ 3 hours and 23 minutes ~
YELLOW = Worried
ORANGE = Nervous
~ 3 hours and 22 minutes ~
BROWN = Zero ( Just calibrated )
~ 3 hours and 21 minutes ~
GREEN = Surprised
~ 3 hours and 20 minutes ~
~ 3 hours and 19 minutes ~
DARK PURPLE = Sad
~ 3 hours and 18 minutes ~
~ 3 hours and 17 minutes ~
~ 3 hours and 16 minutes ~
PS. At the moment I am cyan and bright purple ( I mean- it's my birthday, why wouldn't I be! )
~ 3 hours and 15 minutes ~
~ 3 hours and 14 minutes ~
~ 3 hours and 13 minutes ~
Anyway, after school I am getting a cake with ~ 3 hours and 12 minutes ~ with chocolate or buttercream icing. ~ 3 hours and 11 minutes ~

Hey, I just realised! It's already taken me 21 minutes to write all of this! ~ 3 hours and 10 minutes ~
Make that 22 minutes.

Now I don't know what to write about. I know ~3 hours and 9 minutes ~. I'll brag. Ooh, this will be fun. So, I got this biology kit, a DNA kit, a weather ~ 3 hours and 8 minutes ~ kit, Mariokart 8 ( Wii U ), a solar powered robot grasshopper, an FCO drink bottle (blue) ~ 3 hours and 7 minutes ~, and FCO membership, the mood ring, a book on how to get out of situations you don't want to be in, ~ 3 hours and 6 minutes ~ A fictional book on how a dufus makes a zombie movie, a MASSIVE barrel of slime ~ 3 hours and 5 minutes ~ and some other guff. PS. My ring is still cyan and bright purple. And, it's been ~ 3 hours and 4 minutes ~ it's taken me 28 minutes to write this.
~ 3 hours and 3 minutes ~ Oops, it's actually take  me 29 minutes to write this. ~ 3 hours and 2 minutes ~ Oops again, I meant it's taken me half an hour to write this. ~ 3 hours and 1 minute ~ OMG, I'm such a nanna! It's actually taken me 31 minutes to write all of this. ~ 3 hours ~ AARHHGGGHH!!! It's actually taken me 32 minutes to write all of this. Hey, It's a full hour! This means... Oh, your going to love it...
~ 2 hours and 59 minutes ~
Oh noopy, time up. Oh well. It will happen again in 59 minutes, so stay tuned. Oh, PS. It's taken me 33 minutes to write this.
~ 2 hours and 58 minutes ~ DANGNABBIT! The stupid clock changed again! This means that it has actually taken me 34 minutes to write this.
~ 2 hours and 57 minutes ~ I mean 35 minutes to write this.
~ 2 hours and 56 minutes ~ Oops, 36 minutes to write this.
Man! My fingers hurt from typing so much! Oh well. YOLO.
~ 2 hours and 55 minutes ~

OWWWWWWWWWWW! MY FINGERS HURT! FORGET YOLO, THIS IS SORE!
Nah, I'll live. I'll venture forth.
And it's taken me 37 minutes to write this.
~ 2 hours and 54 minutes ~ I mean 38 minutes to write all of this.
Well, my ring is still cyan and bright purple, so I'm feeling good.
You know, I wonder what the colour in the ring actually is?
~ 2 hours and 53 minutes ~
I think the stuff in the ring might be mercury. I mean, they use it for thermometers, don't they? I don't know
~ 2 hours and 52 minutes ~
I've been writing for like 40 minutes now.
~ 2 hours and 51 minutes ~
Or like 41 minutes now. Let me count. Ummmm... I got 35 minutes this time..
No, I got 39 this time... I'm confused.
~ 2 hours and 50 minutes ~
~ 2 hours and 49 minutes ~
My ring's still cyan and bright purple, because there is no 'confused ' on it.
Anyway, I've got to go now.
But I will post a post when I'm nearly 10!
But for now, ~ 2 hours and 48 minutes ~!

... Meanwhile, in another story... 2


... Meanwhile, in another story... 2

Read part one here: ... Meanwhile, in another story...



The bells chimed though the neighbourhood. But it wasn't the bell from the City Town Hall, that indicated a special event or noon. It wasn't that sweet charm. It was louder and deeper.
"We declare war against your land and vast village!" Someone shouted in a very strong, foreign accent.
The warning sirens blazed. We were (officially or un-officially- I'm not really sure) in war.

I saw many men run towards the Town Hall. The Prime Minister and some guys in army camo stood there on a table. It soon occurred to me that these men would become our defenders. Soldiers.
"I'm going to war," I told my mum.
"Alright, have fun," I heard her say.
I walked towards the men, and they let me in to the war. They handed me a machine gun. I ran off, trying to shoot. One of the enemies. Unfortunately, they shot me first.
I died.
THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story...

So, as I was saying, my brother ate my pizza. I killed him. He died. Then, Dom the Crazy Psycho Killer came and beheaded me with his chainsaw.

THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story...

I flew up in my white spaceship. I landed on Mars. Then I saw a button. I moon walked closer to it. It said: 'DO NOT PRESS THIS BUTTON (Yes, this means YOU!)
I pressed it. Earth blew up. Everyone died. But I didn't, I was on Mars! I survived.
Then I met an alien. He zapped me with a random, high-tech ray. I died.

THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story...

I was so mad. I was so mad that I hid a land mine under the principal, Mr. McGlowen's desk. Unfortunately, I tripped ad fell on it. It blew up. I died.

THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story...

I read Dom's story. I know what you're wondering: 
How could he write a story if he blew up on Earth?'
Well, as it turns out, he disguised himself as the spaceship's pilot, and he came with me to Mars. 
Anyway, I modified his story. now it read this:
'It was a regular day in Piggy Town. The piggies were eating carrots, growing carrots, bathing in carrots, sleeping on carrots and the piggy spy was using carrot launchers to knock out his enemies. '
I rubbed the rest out and wrote what I wanted it to say with my lucky pencil. but I exploded.  Then I read, printed at the top:
'This is G.E.P. (Graphite Exploding Paper) This means that if graphite touches the paper, you will
 blow up.' I was so stupid. Anyway, I died.

THE END

... Meanwhile, in another story...

Oliver was in sight. He hadn't noticed me yet. I dug down. I made a small underground tunnel, just big enough for my servants and servant pets to fit through. 
Little did Oliver know, I was right under him. I darted ahead of him and his speedy horse, Oliver Junior. Man, he is self-centered. Tyrone, my Saber-Toothed Tapir looked at me. Fine, I admitted it. Maybe I'm a little self-centred myself. I mean, I might have named all of my servants and pets Leo Jr. myself. But that's not the point.
 I dug a hole in Oliver's path, and climbed out. But my timing was a wee bit off. Oliver's horse ran right over me and Mee-Mee (my weird, always happy living teddy bear) got caught on Oliver Jr's chest rifle (a rifle that is attached to Oliver Jr's chest) This was now a rescue mission.
Oliver Jr. ran and turned a sharp turn... right by a big cliff! Mee-Mee fell of. I jumped off after her. We were both going to die. 
"TRIPLE QUADRUPLE DANGNABBIT!" I screamed.
We died.

THE END


~ PART 3 ALREADY OUT! READ IT HERE~ ... Meanwhile, in another story... 3

The starving games 1 (Maz's perspective)

I ran through the tall grass but I knew it was no hope they would find me and take me there no matter how much I declined and complained. I heard a rustle in the bushes behind me as I emerged from the cover but when I turned around I saw Benjamin and he was looking quite proud of himself. He told me that the other person going with me was a girl called Jennifer but that he himself volunteered instead of her so we would be going together. I wanted to hug him but that would be sick so I patted him on the back. Suddenly Oliver a big man emerged quite slowly from the tall grass and said just as he had finished smoking his cigar said that it was time to leave. Benjamin began to cry.

When we got there I set off to find a good spot for shelter knowing that nobody could hurt me because the games hadn't began yet but suddenly Benjamin died then I died.

THE END




The Grandpa Michael

"Lol. Michael, you're awesome!"
Michael was a grandpa who used to be a comedian. He had completely white hair trashing through his wrinkled skin, and he had a voice that sounded like a stomach growling. His grandson, Michael the 3rd, loved his jokes.
"Grandpa Michael, can you tell me another one, please??????????" Begged Michael the 3rd.
This story is too boring. So Michael decided to go to the USA gun shop to blow himself up. He drove out of his rusty driveway of brown dust and got to the gun shop. It was shady. He picked up an atom bomb and smashed it on the ground.
Kaboom!
The End.

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

SPEECH COMPETITION

Homework Term 2 Week 8

Time to start working on your speech for our competition next term. 

Learning Intention: To write and present a speech that is informative and entertaining. 

Success Criteria: 
1. Speak clearly on a topic to an audience using eye contact, a projected voice, and tone for emphasis
2. Write a speech that is well-sequenced and organised (intro, three main points, conclusion)
3. Add interest and appeal to your speech (e.g. use a hook to gain the audiences attention, props, humour, questions, facts, finishing in an interesting way- e.g. question or joke).

Time limit: 3 minutes

The class competition will be in week 3 of next term. 

The year 5/6 competition will be in week 4

The North Shore finals are in week 5 or 6

The Auckland finals are in week 9

Monday, 23 June 2014

Super Muscle Man!!!

I crept towards the giant marble statue of Oliver.
Then I stole the statue. Even though it weighed something like 26 tons and was 60 metres tall I could carry it because I..... WAS SUPER MUSCLE MAN!!!
No one realised because I..... WAS SUPER MUSCLE MAN!!
I stole the statue and took it to my house then I realised that the statue was too big to fit into my house, so I lifted my house up and made it bigger.
How did I do that?
Well, that's easy because I am... SUPER MUSCLE MAN!!!
Then I got the giant statue of Oliver to fit into my house and I started re-carving it by nothing but my hands and fingernails.
I could do it because I was... SUPER MUSCLE MAN!!
I re-carved it from a statue of Oliver to a statue of me.
"Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck!" I laughed.
Now I have sold the statue and I sold it for $1,000,000,000 beginning price and the people were like,
"5 billion dollars!"
"Oh yeah? 10 billion dollars!"
"You guys are so poor! 50 billion dollars!"
"NO! You are very poor! 600,000,000 billion dollars!"
"You hobos! 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000 trillion dollars.
That was the final price.
Now I am super rich because I am.... SUPER MUSCLE MAN!!!!

The Tasmanian devil part 2

I crept towards the hut once more, the thing that I called a monster was lying in the middle of the cold, sandy ground minding his own business. I cautiously stared into the hut the devil was asleep but not for long I had a plan. The plan was to push the devil into the sea so I could have some sleep but if it woke up I would not be able to get in because I would have covered up the door frame with wood, sticks and bark. The first thing I did was poke the devil to make sure it was asleep and wouldn't wake up while he was being pushed into the sea. I slowly walked behind him and started pushing with all of my strength that I had. It took a while but I finally got him out of the hut and into the sea, I sprinted into he woods and grabbed as much wood, bark and sticks as I could find. I ran back to the hut but as I walked in I found another devil in the hut but this time he was awake and getting ready to pounce. I immediately dropped the sticks and ran for my life!!! 

I had been running for like two hours until I stopped to catch my breath. I glanced back to see if anything was still chasing me, the devil has surely stopped but something else was chasing me and it sure smelled bad. I jogged to the shore line and dropped onto the sand, it was hot and my feet were cooking like an oven but I didn't care, all I cared about was going home. I was happy to be in the sun and as I stared into the blue sky I quickly drifted asleep.

Part 3 coming soon on blogger...  

Electric blue

A blood-curdling scream echoed around the city’s bustling streets, leaving main street shoppers to drop their bags in horror.  Suddenly a caped crusader flew past the petrified pedestrians at a speed that would kill the average human - but this man was not your average human. When the pack of thieves heard the rush of air as the young woman’s saviour approached, they all turned and fled. This was a sound that all men with evil in their blood knew well - it was the sound of The Speeding Shadow.

Meanwhile in an underground labyrinth in Oklahoma City an evil scientist was at work. He knew none of the world’s villains could commit any crimes with The Speeding Shadow on the lookout. He had to get rid of him… but how?

Back in New York City the Speeding Shadow (aka SS) had silently slipped into the body of a 67 year old woman like a sword into its sheath.  The woman’s head immediately jerked upwards and she bounded towards the burning building in which a young child was trapped.  As soon as the woman reached the room, SS realised it was a trap.  A short poofy-haired villain with a squeaky voice holding a plasma ray, pointed the weapon at the old lady’s chest.  In an instant the Speeding Shadow’s translucent body was hurtling towards the ground.

The Speeding Shadow’s body, crackling with electricity twitched and shook as the short man scooped up his motionless body and dragged him towards his invisible jet.

As the Speeding Shadow’s eyelids parted from each other and his focus returned he found himself in an underground lab which was covered in fake green grass.  He slowly looked down to find his body twitching in an unearthly fluorescent blue liquid.  He blacked out.

The world was spinning as SS struggled to regain consciousness, his body still submerged in the weird blue liquid.  He was lying in a dark, freezing cold room, a small candle flickered in the corner.  Then it went out.

A dark figure with poufy hair approached him.  A high pitched croaky voice began to speak “I have attempted to capture you for all my villainous years and now I have you in my lab!”  He cackled slowly at first as if it amused him, but soon became a full on belly laugh. As the supervillain got closer SS took his chance to attack.  He swiftly slipped into the villain’s body and took control of his mind. He could see all of the villain’s memories and realised the liquid he had been lowered into was really anti-shock serum. He could also find out what the man’s plan was - he had wanted to mutate him and keep him as a guardian as he had been a weak villain. There were also some evil memories in there that SS tried not to look at.. He had used his plasma gun on more people than just him but SS saw the good in him and replaced all his villainous memories with his own memories. Once SS had completed reorganising the villain’s mind he left the villains body. He now had no powers but he was a hero for his actions.
Now the poofy haired bad guy is known as Superpouf.  He spends his days saving the world and repaying the favour that SS gave him years before when he let him live. He promised that he would stop all crime and do what SS would have done when needed.  Guess what?  He kept his promise!

The unicorns

               The unicorns

Among the golden hills of fairyland,the unicorns run wild and free among the buttercups,with the sunlight flashing from their golden hooves and horns.

One midsummer day,the sun was shining and a warm breeze was blowing,but there was a restless,unsettled air about the unicorns.

"Mother," said a young foal,whose name was Ivory,"Everything 
seems strange today:is something unusual about to happen?"

"Yes,dear,"replied Moonbeam,her mother."Your too young to remember,but every midsummer's day the fairy people come in a procession up to our hill country.With a golden flute,they call the unicorns to them,and the fairy children choose one to live with them for a year."

"Does the unicorn ever come back again?"asked Ivory.

"Oh,yes,"her mother replied."When the fairies choose a new unicorn,they return the one who was chosen the year before.Seven years ago I was chosen.I spent a year at the fairy palace learning how to be gentle with the fairy children and giving them rides.I was taught not to kick,and to be obedient,and never to nip fingers when taking food from tiny hands."

Ivory thought about this for a few minutes while Moonbeam quietly cropped the sweet yellow straw like sun warmed grass."If they choose me ,"said Ivory,I-I shall say, 'No,I don't want to go.'I want to stay with you,Mother,always."

Moonbeam lifted her head and lovingly nuzzled her young foal."Dear one,if you are called by the golden flute you can't help but go.It plays a magical note that unicorns can't resist."

Ivory tossed her head and went for a canter round the hills scattering butterflies and flower petals as he went,his white mane and tail streaming in the fresh breeze.She was half a hillside away when a distant sweet fluting brought her to a surprised halt.She found he could not help but turn towards it,and soon,quite against her will,she was cantering back to where all the other unicorns were gathering ear the gate to their hillside.

When she reached the gate,she saw the fairy folk and the flute player for the first time.They were laughing and singing as they walked along the lane which led up from the lower regions of fairyland where the unicorns stood.Ivory stepped to her mother's side and tried to hide,but the fairy children saw her and called joyfully,"That one!Oh,let's choose that one."

Ivory was frightened."not me, mother!""Don't let them take me.It isn't fair!"

Moonbeam gave her a velvet kiss."Little daughter,it is an honor to be chosen by the fairies you must go.Don't be afraid, as we'll soon be together again."

Then the fairies  placed a garland of flowers around Ivory's neck,and he went with them to fairyland.

A year passed and it was Midsummer day. Moonbeam gathered with the rest of the unicorns and stood patiently as the fairies as the fairies choose a new unicorn to take with them to fairyland.Suddenly Ivory was realized by the fairy children and trotted briskly up to her.

They nuzzled lovingly and moonbeam said"you've grown little daughter,was it so bad after all?"

Ivory looked rather embarrassed."I missed you,mother,but i had a really good time,and I've learnt how to be a gentle,well-behaved unicorn.They were all very kind to me,and said I was the nicest pet unicorn they'd ever had."

She tossed her head."In fact, I don't know why i made such a fuss about going at all!"Then she kicked up her golden heels and galloped away over the hills,scattering butterflies and flower petals,and enjoying her freedom once again.

Saturday, 21 June 2014

The Flash


Prologue:

One day a guy called Bob Bob (first name and last name if you're confused) was in his dark, gloomy, lab making a chemical reaction to see if chocolate chip cookies could be turned into cheese. Bob Bob was a scientist who was always in his lab figuring how to change stuff to other stuff. Once, he accidentally did his experiment wrong and turned a rock into a killer-tiger and that was when Bob threw out his emergency ninja sword and killed it just before the killer-tiger reached his lab and was about to obliterate every chemical and destroy everything in the room.
I'll just tell you one thing about his look: he was hairy.
Done! Okay, now we need to get to the real part of the story.

♫ (Dramatic music) ♫ 

Chapter one

Bob was seeing if the special powder he had just created would turn the cookie into cheese.
Just as he was about to pour the powder on, he tripped on a rock and went SPLAT! on the floor, cracking open the metallic beaker, letting the liquid in it spill out.
Bob was pulling himself off the dusty floor and then he realised.... that the liquid that was meant to turn the cookie to the cheese had gotten into his body.
"Uh oh," he said in raspy voice as he quickly figured out that the liquid had changed his body and he was feeling tingly inside.
Bob couldn't control it any longer and he flopped on the ground in unconsciousness.


Chapter two

Bob woke up just to find that he had been unconscious for two hours. He was getting very thirsty so he ran up the stairs into the lounge where the water was. When Bob started running he realised something very unusual. He took his first step and everything went blurry and there was a loud Whoosh! Then he realised he was on the second floor from the first in just about a microsecond.
"What..? Err.." he said out loud. 'Something has gotten very strange'
This time he started sprinting and the same thing happened but it was even faster.
'I think I might have become the flash,'
Bob was actually happy that he was the Flash.

Chapter three

Suddenly the cookie turned into the cheese and then the cheese shot Bob aka The Flash and Bob aka The Flash died instantly.




THE END.



























the electricity monster

The rusty train screeched to a halt. Electricity flew out of its wheels and created a huge electricity monster.  Mr Happy and I sprinted away from the electricity monster but we didn't need to run because I have this secret button which you press and tell it what you want and it will happen. So I told the colorful  button to make me and Mr happy to fly. Mr happy jumped in the air but face planted "sorry" I said to Mr happy but he wasn't sad because he's the happiest man on earth.


 Suddenly spider man came down out of no where and grabbed Mr happy and I but Mr Happy hates motions cause he gets sick but he wasn't sad because hes the happiest man on earth. The electricity monster electrocuted spider man and there was nobody who could save us. When we were flying in the air iron man grabbed us and iron man shot the electricity monster then iron man let us down on to the hard concrete.  We ran over to the electricity monster and started pulling faces at It .                                                                        
 We thought the electricity monster was dead but little babies spurted out of the electricity monster and there were a billion of them that they all used there power and electrocuted  Mr happy and I but Mr happy wasn't sad because he's the happiest man on earth.

Friday, 20 June 2014

The Tasmanian devil

I stared into crystal clear water, it was so peaceful to peaceful. Was something wrong because it is different to usual, maybe it is because I am by myself on a deserted island in the middle of the Tasmanian Ocean. I stare and think 'I wish that life is like this every day, peaceful and relaxing.' I wondered over to another creek but it is narrow but long that lies in the middle of the island, it has fresh water it felt good to drink again. I have been stranded on this island of three days now and nobody has looked for me yet, maybe they have forgotten about me. If they have forgotten about me I will die alone stranded on a island that nobody can get on to very easily. I felt pellets of rain drip on my head and decided to go undercover, I had a small hut like building that I made with sticks and pieces of rotted bark that I found on the sandy ground but as I walked into the hut I found a small, hairy bear like animal that was lying on the cold and damp ground. But as I looked closer it looked more like a type of animal called the Tasmanian devil. I stared at it for a while and decided to leave and make a new hut. But as I turned around I heard a growl and then a loud roar, I slowly turned around and the animal was alive it pounced on me and bit my arm I ran but it caught up to me I screamed for mercy and then I collapsed.

To be continued...

The awkward moment.

It was the most awkward moment of my life. One minute i was there, the next i was hanging over a tank full of sharks with my skirt proudly showing off my underwear. My cheeks were getting more red by the minute as people walked in, smiling and then saw me, stopping dead in their tracks, speechless for a moment then laughing so hard  that some of them toppled over.  I overheard one person in a large group of girls dressed completely in green say to her friends, "Wow, this is going to be a really good show."  Another agreed with her and then said," Almost worth the price of a ticket, that guy must be stinking rich if he charges $10000000000000000 bucks." Then the lights dimmed and at the last second i saw a sign outside the circus tent say something that made my freaking out heart skip 2 beats. It read: Come and watch magician Ecalbrow perform the greatest trick of all time, drop a girl into a pool of starving sharks and then walk out completely unharmed!
 

The Jail

It was the most awkward moment of my life. I was running out of jail because I had been mistaken for the evil doctor Leo. I had been running out, around the cold dusty walkway when suddenly something caught my eye. It was a big, green object sticking out of a nearby tree trunk. I climbed up with ease and read a little note pinned on to it.
The note read:
If you get this note send it to R. T. Sammy. That was my name so I read the rest. It told me about how to get out and what to do to find the evil Leo. It said that there was a key hidden in one of the stone rectangles with a j sign on it. I assumed that it meant that there was a brick in the prison which had a j pattern on it.
The next day I set of to find the j brick. All through the morning I walked around the paths of the prison but it wasn't until the afternoon when I found the stone.
The reason I hadn't found it was because that the stone actually was a stone instead of a brick. I easily found the key. The letter also said that there was someone called Eliza who hisses all the time. She is said to live in a room called room 30.  

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Brain homework 2

for my brain homework I have been studying how to improve your memory. there is lots of ways to improve your memory Here is one of the ways to improve your memory, quit multitasking studies show that people who multitasks memory decreases, you should do chunking which means do things one at a time if you want to hear more look at my brain homework poster at school  

Daltons Brain Homework.

What I have been doing for brain homework is how to improve your memory.
some ways I have learned are that if you eat blue berries your memory improves by a little bit.
another way to improve your memory is with exercise. Exercise really helps your brain gets more oxygen meaning you can remember more.
If you are depressed then your brain does not function properly meaning you can not remember things as easily from that day.
If you sleep thinking about something then your brain is thinking about that when you fall asleep meaning you have dreams about it and the hole night you thinking about what ever it is you were thinking about will be in your long term memory.
Laughter is good for your brain because when you laugh you use more than one part of the brain.
Your diet also really improves your brain memory like if you eat blue berries.
Fish is also good for your brain and so is walnuts, kidney and pinto beans, spinach, broccoli, pumpkin seeds and soy beans.
Green tea also is very good for your brain.
Doing something challenging like learning a new language is also very good for your brain.



Thank you for reading this article.

The Anoyying Dictionary.

Chapter:1 the first rule.
It was time to break the rules, I decided to break the first rule in the dictionary (our school's book of rules) never skip class.
 By the way I bet you're wondering why i'm breaking the rules well it's because my friend dared me to break all the rules in the cat (another name for the dictionary/book of rules.)
 Back to the subject i'm skipping class 1st block because we don't do anything special in the 1st block I just told the teacher I had to go to the bathroom I walk right to my secret spot where no one has ever been.
1 hour and 30 minutes later and the bell for morning tea rings I go out of my spot and go to class to get my morning tea.


Chapter:2 the false alarm.
After morning tea the teacher asked where I had been in the last block I lied and said that I had been puking in the bathroom she said that I should go home but I said that I was feeling fine right now.
The second rule, I was thinking to myself maybe the fire alarm and then I thought that that was a good idea.
I then want to tell the teacher I had to go to the bathroom she lets me go.
I run straight to the fire alarm and I wait for five seconds before ringing it, it screams so loud that my ears start ringing.
 I run to my class and get in line we rush to the field while mrs squash calls the fire brigade.


Chapter:3 the questions.
The fire brigade came and searched through the hole building and didn't find any fire or even smoke they told the principal mr potato that one of your students must of rung the fire alarm.
After all of that commotion we had an emergency assembly he said that someone here had set off the fire alarm.
He asked who did it no one did anything but look around I was about to put my hand up but then this random kid put his hand up the principal took him away and we never saw him again.

Chapter:4 the dress code.
I walk into the room wearing nothing thats right nothing at all. my friend told me for every 10 feet I run he will give me a dollar.
At first I was about to wuss out but I didn't so I started.
 10 feet 20 feet 30 feet 'stop it right there.'
I knew I was in trouble when he said that but when I turned around nobody was there
then mrs Squash came in and gave me 2 weeks detention. Luckily it was friday.

Chapter:5 detention.
It was three o'clock school had just finished but I had to stay in because I was naked i have got some clothes on now but they are 3 sizes too big. it was really boring and I could not talk so I started texting my friend Bob or dom for short it is not actually shorter it is just his nickname. I text him why did I do this rule he replies by saying I like pie."
I reply by saying "that is not helpful ." the teacher then takes my phone away and says she will give it back to me on monday.

Chapter:6 final detention.
It is finally my final detention but it has been a long time and I still have not gotten my phone it really sucks.
But anyway HOORAY!!!!! no more detentions after this the bad thing is the teacher said this one is twice as long. BOOOOOOO!!!!! it is boring enough for 2 hours but for 4 hours really how mean can a teacher get. 2 hours later I get up and am about to go but the teacher reminds me its twice as long today. I sit back down and then I remember my mum gave me a notice to say I had to be back by 5 pm I gave the notice to the teacher and then she let me go.(I still have not gotten my phone back.)

Chapter:7 5pm.
Its 5pm and I still don't know why I have to be here. My mum walked into the room and said that I was here because I had been so naughty and the teacher had called and said that if I did anything naughty ever again in the school I would be expelled. damn I thought no more breaking the rules.

Katie

Katie was sitting quietly, minding her own business when it happened. The large sack silently came down on her, sending Katie into total darkness.


When she awoke, she was in a damp, sparsely furnished room with no windows and only one door, which was locked. The carpet was shabby and the old, floral wallpaper was peeling of in places.in one corner there was an uncomfortable looking chair. next to it were two soggy mattresses lying on top of each other along with an old  moth eaten blanket that was full of holes. Katie walked over to the afore mentioned chair and sat down. 


She thought hard. Why had she been kidnapped? Who were her captors? Would she be fed? Questions like these filled her brain. Slowly Katie got up and lay down on the disgusting mattresses that were supposed to be her bed. She was tired, very tired. Rather sluggishly, she began to fall asleep. In the morning, Katie thought, she would figure out where she was, and how she could escape...


BRAIN HOMEWORK

Sleep gives your body a rest and allows it to prepare for the next day. It's like giving your body a mini-vacation. Sleep also gives your brain a chance to sort things out. Scientists aren't exactly sure what kinds of organizing your brain does while you sleep, but they think that sleep might be the time when the brain sorts and stores information, replaces chemicals, and solves problems. 

HOW WILL THIS AFFECT ME: Well if I get more sleep I will have more energy so I could try going to sleep earlier. I got to sleep at 9 and get up at 5:30 so I could try going to sleep at 7:30 and getting up at 6:30.


Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Brain Homework 2 (Jenna)

Amy and I have been researching how to learn a new language (how to remember it long-term, and how to learn it quickly) Some things I can do to learn easier are: 
  • Staying in / around a house of people who speak the language you want to learn.
  • Reading books or other things about the language.
  • Doing a class or being taught by someone.
Good luck with your brain stuff, guys! :):):)

A Close Call


Prologue

“Fred…..Fred… FRED!!!”
She tried to stop the four year-old, but it was impossible. Fred had waddled his way to the trampoline, somehow managing to have a head-on collision with it- twice! Please don’t pass your drivers test, his mum prayed.
 Lost in his own little world, Fred didn’t notice what was happening until it was too late. He’d ‘accidentally’ crashed his fire truck into the EIFFEL TOWER!!!
If only those poodles hadn’t looked so cute! Were Fred’s thoughts.. His face screamed ‘I’m done for!’ Not that anyone was paying him any attention. On the bright side, only four parked cars were crushed.
The tower was engulfed in dust, fogging his windshield.Within an hour he had handed in his resignation notice, booked a plane ticket to New York, and eaten eight packets of Tim Tams (in record time).
The next day...
 Fred had managed to get himself a job as the new ‘Mr Whippy’. First stop : 411 Walton Street.
 For miles all he could hear was,
“Hurry! Come on, FASTER!!!”
A man was waiting on the footpath outside the building, tapping his watch furiously.
“I’ve got 13 kids who’ve had to wait an hour for this ice-cream!”
Fred didn’t say a word. He unloaded the van, took the man’s cheque, and drove off.
‘I’d hate to have that guy as my dad,’ Fred thought.
Lost in his own little world Fred didn’t realise what was happening until it was too late. He’d ‘accidentally’ crashed into the EMPIRE STATE BUILDING!!
“Not again!”
He yelled, aggravated. The only reason he had accepted the ice-cream position, was because of his brother, Luke. As owner of the business, he’d been promised a pay rise within his first week. As Fred raced away from the scene, news reporters began to arrive.
“A tragic incident has unfolded at one of the cities most iconic buildings…”  
The reporter commented on the radio.
Gulp..
“You’re resigning??!! Why?”
“I don’t think Mr Whippy is the right fit for me.”
Luke was getting pretty huffed.
“It’s not about if you like the job or not - you need something that’ll pay the bills!”
Fred had to tell Luke the whole story.
“You could’ve told me sooner! Otherwise I’d never have let you near my ice-cream vans!”
“Luckily I’ve got a new job is as captain for the cruise ship Sea Biscuit.”
Fred was waist deep in boating manuals, utterly lost
“How am I suppose to know what the ‘navigational tripguard’ is?”
He asked, second in command.
“Well, if you -wait a second! You don’t know what IT IS?!?!”
Fred laughed nervously.
“.....No?”
“WE’RE DOOMED!!!”
 Fred wasn’t ready to give in.
“No we’re not. We haven’t crashed yet!”
“Yes; but we’re about to!”
“Daddy? What’s that coming towards us?”
“Oh Chelsea, honey it’s just a….CRUISE SHIP! RUN!”
It was the frustrated man again! Only this time with his daughter. Who happened to be standing in front of the STATUE OF LIBERTY!!! But of course, Fred didn’t notice, as he was still figuring out what to do.
“STTOOOPPPPP!” The tiny girl screeched, bringing Fred to his senses, just in time.
Epilogue
Two months later:
“Thank-you Chelsea, for preventing Sea Biscuit from crashing into the Statue of Liberty.”
President Obama presented Chelsea with her medal of bravery.
“And for you, Fred, for facing up to what you have done and telling us what you have done. So, are you ready to redo your drivers test?”
Fred gaped at the president.
“I think I’ll take up archery instead.”

Brains!

For my brain science Romy and I have been learning about memory. Like I said before we are learning about the hippocampus and things about memory. I have also been researching how to improve my memory. Here are some ways:


  • Get lots of exercise and sleep
  • Laughing and telling jokes
  • Keep stress at a minimum
  • Eat a good diet consisting of Omega-3, Fruit and vegetables (especially blueberries), and green tea
  • Give your brain a workout- do brain teasers, memory puzzles, play an instrument
I will try to do some of these things to improve my memory.

(。◕‿◕。)

Brain Homework

James and I have found out that IF you are not happy and you always fell down then it may sometimes lead down diseases like stomach diseases and even cancer!
This is why would should keep positive and ways to do that are daily exercising, doing some good deeds (like donating) and well sing in the shower!;)
(That's not a joke I'm serious)

Brain homework

Oliver and I have found out the best way to turn your frown upside down is to tell someone how your feeling, so the next time your sad or angry don't shout at your friend about it just tell them "oh I had a rough day." And you will fell much better. Other ways include eating the right things like fruit and veggies and exercising daily.

Hide'n'Seek

The zebra and the cow were playing hide and seek with the fish, the fatoodle cat, Godzilla, a random dragon and me, a mutant piglet! The zebra and the cow were already found by the fish and they needed to get the others. 

The fish looked straight at me but he didn't see me! I'm glad I've got the powers of camouflage! But I don't think that Godzilla will be found because he got flying and I saw him fly into space. The cow had gotten the power of always be seen by everyone and the zebra got the powers of black and white which did nothing cause he was already black and white.

"Oh crud!" Yelled the fatoodle cat as he was found. His powers were digging through anything but quite slowly. Then suddenly the last 3 people all got x-Ray vision and we could see the last people. And if your wondering, the dragons powers are, he got something random which I don't exactly know.

"Ahhhh!" Yelled the dragon as he got caught. It was just me and Godzilla but then we lost our powers and Godzilla went down, down and even further down then... "KA-BOOM!!!!!!!!" He landed on a land mine and blew up.
"I WON!" I yelled. But then a bird pooped on my head.




The End!

Jo the Baby that Doesn't Know Correct Grammar

As I gazed deep into the eyes of Jo, he slapped me in the face. Then I bit him.
He screamed " MUMMY! MY HAND HURTS! IT WAS BITED!"
A random leach wrapped it's slimy body around Jo's toe. He ran off and (accidentally?) squashed his mum and her guts flew out everywhere. I never knew that a leach could raise a human! Anyway, Jo began to cry more. He then hugged a random lady that immediately began to hug him and wipe the tears off his face. Then she wiped his mum's pancreas off his toe. Then I realised that the lady was Jo's mum, not the leach. That made a lot more sense. 
"MUMMY, THAT PSYCHO MAN BITED ME!" He pointed to me. 
"Hey, watch your child's language," I said to the lady. "I will have you know that I am not psycho. I am a hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist however." 
The mum stood on my toe and stomped off. I called for the supermarket security. 
"SECURITY!" I yelled.
They immediately appeared and held him tight. 
"The lady, not the baby!" I instructed. 
The mum came rushing for her baby, and security released Jo to grab the mum. 
"Keep the baby too!" I told them. 
The mum was arrested for C.E.P ( Cruelty to Epic People) and Jo went to Grammar School and Specsavers. This is because 'bited' isn't a word and he didn't realise that I am an awesome hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist just by looking at me! XD